Maybe you want to know how im feeling. Well at this moment im doing fine. The road is sometimes long and the mountains too high but im still happy with the things I can do.
CF is a fault in our genes and sometimes I look up at the stars. When they make a mistake they will fall down and twinkle for the last time. When we make some faults we also fall down. We must take our medicines carefully to stay healthy. But sometimes it isn't enough...
Most of us finish the fight around the 40's many people died before. Its hard. Unfair. But we can't nothing else than deal with it and make the best of our lives.
The last weeks I think a lot about my life. Sometimes its feeling like im fail. I don't can work, I don't can get my own house and lived by my lovely parents. But im can not function on my own. Its difficult to accept that but I tried to fight hard enough to life and function so much as I can on my own. I think its the most difficult part of CF. Or well... see strong people died of it is by far the most hard part.
Since begin December im on the Intraveneus Antibiotics (from now IV AB) sometimes its heavy. Im lucky that my mom doing a lot. She makes the AB and does puncturing my Port. She also helps in my daily routine and is a real support for me. Without her I dont can do what Im now able for. Im so thankful for what she's doing.
My last hospitalization was in December a real record. Maybe its not all the way fair, its with five extra antibiotics because my NTM infection. I loved to be at home so long. The last years was I always around the five weeks from the IV AB when its starts all over again. Five weeks at home with struggles and then two weeks in the hospital or sometimes earlier to home with IV AB doing by ourself. I also need oxygen, tube feeding and the BiPap but it doesn't means im not able to do anything. I loved to riding horse and hope one day get my own. A few years ago died my own horse and im getting sicker so I don't get a new one. But now im fighting to strong enough to get my own and can ride every day.... Dreaming is the power of doing what you like!
Well its time to end this blog. See you tomorrow!
Dreams come true if you believe
Post a Comment